havent been writing much. my life isnt that of a celebrity. haha. well, for those who are wondering how im doing. . .um, i guess im okay. i try to make my situation somewhat positive. i thank God everyday for not letting it be worse, because it could have been worse. I could have ended up with no hand! i could have burned my face.
Im not going to lie though, at times I get myself down. im always looking at my scar. thinking how ugly it is...and i cry. luckily, i am blessed with an amazing boyfriend who makes me look past that. The other day he almost made me cry because he grabbed my hand, looked at it, caressed it, and kissed my hand. Ok, now im crying lol. i didnt wana cry infront of him. He has matured so much, and it makes all the bs we have went thru as kids, vanish. now, thats not the only thing that gets me down though, parents can be tough. everyone who has DECENT parents know that. My step dad can be a jerk at times though. They tell me im not doing anything and i need to go to work already. i argue back at them...but it irritates me. Because, TRUST ME. i want to get to work. im only getting 66$ a week frm disability! and they send the money every other week. and on top of that the doctors stupid ass only put me on 2 weeks of dissability. and the first week i was down they dnt pay. so what, my first check wasw 120$ my next one was $103 ? how that happened? i have no fkin idea. and thats all im getting. my first check went to my over draw that was about 180$ 72$ was frm insurance, then the 32$ frm the over draft, then the extended over draft fee. i used 20$ of the first check to myself. the next check went to my insurance again. and now im left with 30$ i was hoping i would be able to use that for myself for an enjoyable weekend. but i wont be getting dissability so ill try to save that 30$ and see if my mom can help me with the rest for my insurance. its just sooo stressful. i cant even drive anywhere for peace, because i still dont have my tires. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
well, thats how im doing. im still trying to keep positive though, i try not to think of it, but my parents are always there to remind me..but theres not much i can do. i cant go back to work even though i feel i can ...because part of my job at subway is to wash dishes meaning dipping my hands in soup and sanatizer for a long period of time, cutting things with my hand (which my hand is actually still sensitive...) man, people who rob banks must be people like me....in a situation where they just CANT fix for a while and cant take it...
